revealing the truth but not regretting the decision made

after the L.O.V.E post..u guys must be feeling weird wads going on..and of course towards kang's friends..many must be asking..why??wad happened??so fast!!sorry to hear it..are u okay??dun sad..i will stand by you n etc..frankly..i dun care how much hatred all of u put in me..like i said..i always did something with my reason n stand..and this decision of mine is the best for everyone..i never wanna ask forgiveness and i dun wanna be forgiven as i cant even forgive myself..envy so much of mostly ppl around me with their family life..peace warming..purely love n unity..nobody betraying who nobody cheating who nobody breaks in the family relation..complicated life..many never know how suffer it going to be..talk about clubbing..smoking, drinking, drugging, flirting, touching, one night stand n etc..how many of u can really accept it??and when u're suppose to be taking care of someone there yet the person betrayed u n made u drunk den push u to a guy u juz knew for few hours..how does dat feel??and when next day u woke up sleeping beside the guy..u feel like screaming yet u cant coz u bring it towards urself n the first person appearing in ur mind is the one u love so much and also the one who treat u so damn good..and ur biggest misktake..我做了对不起他的是..i let him wear green cap..even i'm not doing in on purpose..how many of u can accept dat wearing a green cap with no purpose isn't a sin??not many i can guarantee..so why am i doing this??why am i making such a decision..whoever try to stand by me n listen to me b4 make any conclusion..whoever really understand my situation..GOD DAMN IT!!all of u should be happy and cherish the family situation u're having now..dun end up like me..maybe i'll be having a happy ending..but as the things going on..i am suffering..how lucky all of u are..as years coming..everyone growing somemore..so use the effort of doing something more meaningful instead of hating someone, betarying someone, 38 so much n etc..show more caring and pls be more understanding..diff ppl have diff life with their diff situation..some  might not be as lucky as u all..poor, rich, single family, 2 moms / 2 dads, being adopted, n etc..i know i'm not having a good life so i dun wan drag kang into this too..he deserve the best and he should live better than me..without me he will more happy..even he said he dun mind or wont be happy without me or whatever..this was not a small mistake dat can simply say forget it..this is a mistake of a lifetime..I AM SO SORRY~

L.O.V.E

hi there..here i'm in the good form of writing a new post introducing my lovely boyfriend, Isaac Low Poh Yung..a 19-year-old guy who is from Seremban studying in Nilai Inti University College taking Degree in Bachelor in International Business course..let's begin with how we met..we met on the 15 0ct during clubbing at Barcelona..i went with florine,yee ta,sting,jennifer,cecelia,darren and a guy i forgotten wads his name..sorry ya fren..haha..while the boys drinking..we girls went for dancing..on our way to the dancefloor..florine saw her inti friends which i meant..isaac and his friends..first time meet we both dun seem to get interested on each other..and the first word i said to him was..u r not cool coz u r a fool after he said something..erm..like he is praising himself or critisicing others..cant really remember..jux imagine his reaction..wtf!!hahaha..den the first word he said to me was..SUCKER!!lolx ~.~" den obviously i said back FUCKER!! to him ~.~" skip skip..but know wad..he was the first among all the guys who came and asked for my contact..hahaha..still wan critisiced me yet so into me..blek =P den 2nd time we met were on the 17 oct..he bought me to Poppy..yeah yeah..first time went so happy but damn it!!i'm drunk b4 the peak party time started..wtf!!nvm..still got next time geh..and hey..guess wad..this guy didnt eat me wor..wait wait..make myself clear first..not he got motive juz bought me go club or i already know wad will happen next after club..it juz he is a guy and normally when feast is there, a normal guy wont eat meh..we both jux purely club and he took a very good care of me..and since then..his impression to me changed..now i believe not all guys we knew during clubbing are bads..there are still some good guys there..but still..we still continue our foul mouth towards each other till one day..dun noe why both of our moods so good den chat till late night..we exchanged our past love story..okay..he really impressed me..never knew deep down his heart is another side of him which only can be seen by the person he is in love with..not long after the day we did our sharing..he told me he fall in love with me..he said he wanna bring me out from the corners i'm hiding..bring me light of the darkness i'm living..bringing me back the feeling i long lost it..i couldn't accept at the beginning coz i find it so fake n i dun wanna be substitution of his lover..through wad he said..he really love his dat ex so much..and ignorantly..i tot he will give up soon after i keep rejecting him..who knows..he keep moving forward..every step of his move..touch my heart so much..until one wednesday which is on the 28 oct..after receiving strong adviced from florine..i decided not to make my step and giving up him..dat week he was going to have his final exam on the 31 oct..really worry he will fail his exam but i think dat the sooner we make ourselve clear the lesser the pain going to be..and i never aspect..he drove for half an hour from nilai to sunway juz to find me and tell me how precious i am to him..aww~my heart gone heart melting n there goes our little love road taken..wait a second..not say i accepted him ya..after his confession..he bought me to Cheras famous pasar malam near USCI there named 康乐..nice being there but wan say very fun still okay la..it juz something like Melaka 文化街 but much more longer lor..okay..let's skip to 5/11..muahahaha..the day i officially together with him..dat day was same during clubbing at MOS..but with diff gang this time..argh..still got one admirer of mine confessed to me too..he brought me a bunch of roses n forerro rocher..dats so sweet..but sorry..good girl gone bad..fair n square..who is better who is the one..as for Isaac..wow..unbelievable..wondering wad florine had told him..he juz simply grab me to the stage..and 'POOF'..lolx~he knee down and asked me ,'Will you stay together with me??', and i asked him back,
'Do you wanna be the one who is only for me??', and obviously..no need give answer already know le lor..haha..as everyone know..no guys are allowed on the dance floor..and yes..he was chased down by the bouncers but everyone below the dance floor claps for him..proud liao lor him..all his friends happy for him..happy day wor..blek =P i also happy la..very very happy..more happy than him..haha..but next day which is 6/11..our good friend, kah yung, left us..good memories..nice anniversaries..forever in heart..(5/11-6/11)..(to be continue)

Friends Forever Best For Me

hearts beating day by day..mind thinking all the time..dream doesn't appear every night when i'm sleeping..think of my health problem..wondering will i ever open my eyes again once i close my eyes..worrying bout so much things in life..the happiest moment i got..were when i'm with him..the deepest memories i have..<> n <>..hi gurlmates..hi boyszone..i miss all of you so much..how are u guys been doing??must be happy always n stay healthy okay..to the readers..wanna know who are they??juz look at the pics on ur right hand side..some not in the pic such as janice in gurlmates while in boyszone, many lor..haha..think back of the first time how we met..wow..impressive..without faith..dun think was easy for us to meet and get to know each other more..now..all of us are 18..getting to 19 next year le..year by year we r growing..will all of us forget about me??will i faded in all of ur minds??as for me..no worries..i always keep u guys in my heart thinking how are all of you..god damn it..i miss u guys so much..i wish to see all of u so much..i wish to back to the time b4 SPM when all of us juz keep messing with each other happily..now..all of us r far apart..some still in muar..some in kl..some in melaka..some in kampar,perak n some going oversea soon..pls do keep in touch okay..in fact..this year..everyone changed n many things happened..i guess we r entering the world of the adults having..izzit difficult??who cares..juz do ur best..no one can tell u wad to do except for urself..through this year..i learned a lot..life in clubs..life with big cities ppl..life to be a good pretender throught ppl u dislike yet u have to pretend dat u like them juz because of a phrase 'one more friend better than one more enemy'..diff from we kampung ppl..we dislike the person..we will tell he/she bout wad we dislike about and hoping he/she might change it..but big cities ppl..i learned 'dun give a damn bout anything n anyone at anywhere'..indeed it is very useful..some might disagree bout it but i am totally agree bout it..think of gurlmates..my heart so sour n feel sorry..it seems like i've neglected them but frankly..i never forget everything about us..i really hope we got more time to spend with..take more pics..go through more activites..crying for u girls..i miss u all damn a lot..ah maine n ah min..u 2 shared with me so much of ur life..u 2 are such nice girls..no more get hurt okay..no matter wad happene still got me..i will stand up for u 2..shyan jie..finally got bf le hor..happy mah??he treat u good??must be blissful okay..god wad den tell me..i am willing to share with u..jia how n kar mun..u 2 been missing so long le wor..how are you??got miss me mah??final exam coming le barh..must gambateh in ur exams and take care of urself..dun fall sick and after final remember jio me go out if i'm at muar..i'm sure will be there..and wan yen..u r the one disappeared most long de..but cant blame u also..u stay in cheras..sometimes back muar i also no back..but still hope the chances we can meet again are more..miss the time when both of us are so close..how are u there??dun so emo le lar..remember u still got ah zai accompany u..no him also got we gurlmates..juz believe urself of wad u r doing..all the best leng luii ^^ oh ya..bout wad i owed u..i will payback soon..blek =P and for janice..after form 4 u changed sch le..also less hang with us..but i can see dat..u r happy with ur life..and ur bf also seem to treat u good..even u already dun hang much with us le..but still time i had spent with u i will remember it forever..take care okay..miss u babe =) last but not least..the boys..haha..treat me most good de..and not fake wan..purely my buddies..i need help sure first be there for me..thank you thank you..must hang out often ar..tell me more stories..good luck in u guys future undertakings..i wont forget u all n u guys cant forget me as well..or else i'll cut off u guys ....s (ps. go watch The Proposal) muahahaha XD say for fun nia..hmph..i wanna go back muar..i wanna see my best friends..urgh..urgh..urgh..haix..forget it..complaint so much also no use..k la..off to my bed..have class tomolo..gurlmates ar gurlmates..i got so much to talk with u girls..missing u girls all the time..let's gambateh in achieveing our future..never forget each other okay..and i promise..no matter wad..i'll try my best to stand by u girls if anything happen..dun hesitate to come over me..we r still as close as b4..still same wad also can say as b4..i got so much heart feeling to share..hoping the best to all of you..u girls are still the besties dat know me well..love u all babes..muacxx~

ANTI-DRUG

wulala wulele wulili wululu wulolo..hi readers..the mood i'm having now..good n bad together at the same time..since i'm in such a mood..i'll like to share something dat i'm fucking piss of with..*DRUG*..mahai..some ppl might said..juz take a little wont get addicted..den why dun juz dun take it at all??lagi wont addicted isnt't it!!c'mon la..dun give excuses..once u took the drug u r counted as drugger..(ps. exception for those who had get rip of it and no longer touch it anymore)..sometimes i really dun understand..everyone know drugs are bad stuff..but why still wan touch it??as i remember..when all of us small..when we heard bout drugger..our reaction 'EEWW..WHY ARE THEY TAKING DRUG??ISN'T IT BAD??SHAME LA THESE PPL'..but after grown up..and why some ppl starting touch it??brain rusting or looking forward to die faster??i heard of many reasons such as relieve stress, won't tired easily, won't get drunk fast n etc..holy shit la..tired den sleep more..scare drunk den dun drink..stress??who in this life never get stress b4??even kids 4-6 years old will stress la..drug also one of the dangerous weapon against ladies as i heard some of my friends who read someone's blog saying about drug can make someone's body shaky so can cheat ladies dat this is the first time having sex with someone..oh my efing GOD..'son of the bitch'..'parents of the coyote'..sucks!!too bad i dun noe see chinese..wan ask them to tell me more yet paiseh to ask so..damn it!!but nvm..dun give a damn also..next..something i need to confront towards special someone..my previous post did mentioned bout one of my best friend died in an accident..and this special someone told me dat if he give him a drug den he wont get tired n accident can be avoided..mahai..if drug can avoid so many accident then all the ppl in this world would have touch the drug and the government wouldn't anti it..drug is bad and it is..nothing gonna change it's fact..so pls ppl..when u noe drugs are bad den dun touch it..u noe the concequences when u r caught involving with it..so stop this fool action..and for my friends..if u r touching it..only 2 choices..dun let me noe about it or dun use it in front of me..it isn't cheap..dun make me damage it and say bye to ur precious money..be a real smart ppl..and for those assholes who taken the drugs..2 choices too..either u quit it or u wait for ur consequences..no one is able to help u except for urself..END~

spotted 05/11/2009 - 06/11/2009

(continue here) hi again..this post i'll be talking about the incident happening..wad a memoriable n sadnest memory ever..firstly..kah yung, my bf and i..we at nilai together with steve as well..but b4 steve came to look for us..we 3 ppl went to saloon as kah yung wanna cut his hair..den we went back to their hostel..b4 dat we went to fetch florine..so n so n so..blah blah blah..till dinner time..we set our journey to sunway..dinner at kim gary..everything were going smoothly..i met new friends..introducing = K.C, Hui Ching, Ah Han, Honey n Wai Man..wai man is honey's bf..total we got 11 ppl..as i juz mentioned..got Steve, Kah Yung, my bf, Isaac and I..introducing another one leng lui named Pei Ling who is kah yung's gf..and not forgetting..my XOXO partner, Wei Loong..after dinner we went to MOS..and there's another guy here named Robert who i knew him on 29/10/2009 and also buddy of steve =) florine also knew him..here goes again..clubbing clubbing clubbing..blah blah blah..and jump to yam cha time..oh ya..b4 dat..i remembered we did something very lan xi at club..we exchange a full bottle of chirvas at the next table we our half bottle of chirvas..and no one finds out..wtf!!were we too geng or they too stupid or they are all drank or it means nothing??totally wtf!!hahaha XD okay..next..our yam cha destination was at ss15 Asia Cafe..it was after 3am..we ordered plenty of foods such as kimchi fried rice, korean noodle, fried kuey tiow, indo mee, seafood n etc..kam pao kam pao eat eat secret secret till 5am..all of ready to back home to have nice sleep and some still hoping for 2nd round..b4 we back..we did make sure every were alright..as we drank very less..none of us were drunk and nothing wrong going with anyone..100% safe from the physical look but never aspect in the mental part..some already reached 50% n below..finally..accident happened took time at around 6 something..4 ppl in the car..2 light injured..1 heavy injured..1 death..is this world fair enuf??not going to say much..bygone den bygone..i only can say..we r not sensible..we r too playful n selfish..but we r borned to be destined when n how we r going to die..so this is his faith..no one can change it..hey..y it sounds like 'FINAL DESTINATION' where all of us dat hang out dat night going to die one by one accordingly..urgh..*CRAP*..k la..end now..tears flowing soon..HIGHEST CONDOLENCE to KAH YUNG!! R.E.S.P.E.C.T

spotted 06/11/2009

hi readers..finally updated my blog after i'm gone missing for such a long time..so much heart feeling now but dun really know how to express..getting more n more emo day by day..thinking to myself..why humans exist??why humans will die??wad kind of creatures are we??why are we the smartest at the same time stupiest in this world??my bf was right..humans' life are weak..we might die anytime at anywhere by anyhow..but why we were borned when we are destined to die one day??all of us know..everyone weill die..it juz see who is faster who is slower who is die coz of health who is die coz of accident who is die coz they're old..they are so many way to die but why is there such a limit for ppl to stay alive after accident, health problems like cancer n etc..being a human isn't easy..i lost my friend..a male who is tall n fit..a guy who borned on 28/10/1990 dat owed a charming smile..he died one week n 2 days after his birthday when he juz said goodbye to 18 years old n hello to 19 years old..he is a nice guy i can guarantee eventhough i juz knew him for such a short period..i miss him so much..feeling unfair why he left me so early and i dun even get the chance to have at least 1 pic with him..he still got dream and fun he haven realise yet..how could GOD so bearing to take him away..well..complaining equal to nothing..i can only wish him to be better than all of us here..reincarnated to a good family and 安心上路吧..highest condolence to you great man..CHAN KAH YUNG!! YOU'RE THE BEST..(to be continue)

fireworks between fern & kang part 5

tada..part 5 here and say hello to 1 month and 2days officially together with my baby kang..hehe..eventhough juz 1 month but hey..got 1 month got 1 year..got 1 year got 10 years..got 10 years got 100 years..got 100 years got forever..haha..crap am i but is fact la..i treasure this very much okay..blek..on our 1 month celebration..first destination..we went to Cheras Leisure Mall to catch movie named 'Surrogates' at 5.30pm but we reached there earlier tot will be in jam so juz shop around first..the mall is small..nothing to shop..totally like shit..at least my dear got himself a nice shirt from Baleno..hehe..the shirt is in black & white and it is V collar..yo..he is addicted to V collar..wakakax..we saw many students there..wow..dats really made us think os the year when we were wearing uniforms..memories..haha..den times up and obviously we went for movie..the movie kinda nice lor but somehow stupid also..haha..after the movie..we went to LOOK OUT POINT!!yeah yeah yeah..i guess many KL-rian should heard of Look Out Point b4 barh..hehe..to those who dun noe leh..let me tell you la..is a nice place to go..it is known as Little Genting coz there can see the whole KL..nice scenery leh..must go on night lor..more romantic..there got 4 restaurants..1)Look Out Point restaurant, 2)Gasoline, 3)Bread & Olives n 4)Heavens..there also got sell accessories if i didnt see wrongly la..got sell clothes too..hiak hiak..we went to eat at Bread & Olives restaurant..we ordered one mushroom soup..the soup sort of sour but nice la..not those packing mushroom soup lor..haha..one fillet steak..wow..yummy leh..and i was like empress..dun have to cut it and feed on myself..got leng zai served me..no need mention already know who right..wakakax..1 fruits cocktail and 1 mango milkshake..total cost us RM60+..worth it..nice surrounding..romantic and quiet..the present i gave him is a wallet brought at Valentino Creations..the place where he used to work at but at Malacca branch la..hope he like it..and of course the present he gave me was bring me to Look Out Point where the place i've been wanting to go for long time ago..we took lot of pics..pls view at below..our celebration end around 11pm..the best day i ever had..will have more best day as long as he is with me..i love you Tan Jyh Kang..and i want only u in my life..thx for giving me the best present ever i had..hey..i got to admit..he knows me well eventhough we started not long..so proud of myself..cant find such nice guy ever le..blek..end here le..going to sleep now..sweet dreams everyone and my dear too..nitez~

the 1st destination

the movie tickets

the shirt i mentioned =P

Welcome to Look Out Point!

the stairs..so high @.@

candlelight dinner

fruits cocktail..nice right =)

fruits cocktail & mango milkshake

mushroom soup

fillet steak

taken using his camera

taken using my hp

muacxx~~

the whole KL XD